The air is brisk outside, like fall or Christmas is approaching.  I am tucked away in a small valley outside of an Andean World Heritage city, known for it beauty and culture.

As I write this I can here the baa-ing of the sheep next door and my fingers are stained at the tips with the soil that comes when one tends their garden.  Today I set out some amaranth, cucumbers and chamomile.  Although this valley is chilly, gardens tend to fair well here. It seems as if the sun this close to the equator helps everything to grow, despite the temperature.

My jacuzzi tub is filling with the water I rejoice in.  The amazing quality water of Cajas becomes 70% of the city water here, 100% for my house.  Crystal clear and mineralized this just maybe some of the finest public water on Earth.  I sip my freshly steeped cup of white tea musing what brought me back here to blog and write.  I have been thinking that I need to share my discoveries on my road to recovery.

2007 brought me to my knees, literally.  From multiple car wrecks, parasite infections, a father who triggered deep wounds by an inappropriate touch to my body and then a suicidal quest to exit this world brought me here – healed happy and at a far deeper peace than I ever thought that I would have experienced. Without those car wrecks, parasites and evil dad, I would have never learned an escape route from the self abuse and detachment that had once become my practice.

I am awake now, I have tools that allow me to experience and feel emotions face on without letting them over ride or confuse me.  I have boundaries in my life, I have respect for myself.  I wake up mainly feeling pretty good inside and if I don’t I find that place that needs and extra hug and mother myself brilliantly.

This is a good thing too because I am thriving but am recovering.  I live in a beautiful home with some slippery wood stairs.  Recently running down them in some slippery socks I slipped yanking my shoulder out of joint and bouncing down the stairs on my tail-bone.  Being a master of physical recovery or so it seems, I tucked myself away in my comfy bed and read for a week.  Two months later when yoga and walking still were a challenge I drug myself to the local orthopaedic doctor for an exam.  He showed me in the xray my impacted bones in my shoulder and said this is why you hurt.

I refused all pain medication.  I know if I cannot feel the pain I can injure myself more and prefer to have a sense of what is going on with my body.  I said yes to the MRI but still have yet to go.

Some friends, a Swiss banker and a shaman from Quito stopped by and we sat with some plant medicines.  In one ceremony as my friends started to sing I felt my ligaments or tendons reattach.  One to the from of my should and one behind.  These types of things are not uncommon in my life, I have a back that healed this way as well.  This is an incomplete healing though.  I am still in pain and still sit undecided.  I feel some damage in my muscles down a bit from my shoulder.  I just started some yin yoga and it triggers some definite discomfort.

What to do?  I am going to chase that healing like no ones business maybe by just sitting back to receive it.  I am excited to feel good physically soon and let that catch.

All Love, Sarah